Whoops!

Snark Nazi

I firmly believe in the social and rhetorical usefulness of snark, and employ it quite regularly myself. That said, I have a VERY low tolerance for people who do it badly, especially if they seem unaware of their failing.

So I was minding my own business, watching the Mets finish off the Cubs last night, when TBS ran a commercial for that new movie about Steve Jobs (because yes, we need yet another homage to the man). There was a point in the commercial where another character says "It's like..." and then pauses, struggling to find the right words. The actor playing Jobs then leans in and says "Can't really wait for you to come up with a metaphor, man." That's some Grade A invented Hollywood snark, right there. Classic, eminently quotable one-liner.

Except its fucking wrong, idiots! The guy Jobs snarked at wasn't trying to come up with a metaphor...

...he was trying to come up with a simile, which is an entirely different literary device. How do I know this? Well, the presence of the word "like" is usually a dead giveaway. People who write for a living really ought to know better.

The man who wrote that dialogue, Aaron Sorkin, certainly ought to know better. He has been responsible for some of my favorite writing for movies and television ever.

"Those quotes were wrong? Meh. Nobody noticed..."

On the other hand, he's penned some classic howlers, too. In an episode of The West Wing, for instance, the President and his Communications Director mangle quotes from two different scenes from the film The Lion in Winter, even though we're told it is the President's favorite movie. I don't know about you, but I remember dialogue from my favorite movies verbatim.


I noticed, Aaron, and so did everyone else who actually loves that movie.

The thing is, it wouldn't have taken him five minutes to get those quotes exactly right. He was just too lazy to do it. It might also have had something to do with all the cocaine he was using at the time...

Things That Make Me Sad: Missed Opportunity Edition

Leading the American League Championship Series 3 games to 1, my beloved Kansas City Royals missed a chance to close out the series in Game 5 yesterday afternoon. They fell 7-1 to the Toronto Blue Jays at the Rogers Centre. The final score was not indicative of the tense pitcher's duel that took place for most of the game.

Royals starter Edinson Volquez pitched admirably, holding the Blue Jays to only a single run on just three hits (one of them a home run) through five innings. Blue Jays starter Marco Estrada was even better, holding the Royals scoreless on just a single hit through six innings. In the bottom of the 6th Volquez ran out of gas, and he and Kelvin Herrera surrendered four runs to make it 5-0. The Royals' only run came on a home run in the top of the 8th by C Salvador Perez that ended Estrada's fine outing. The Blue Jays bullpen got the final four outs.

After a rest day today, the series resumes back in Kansas City at Kauffman Stadium with Game 6 on Friday evening.

Even though the Royals still lead the series 3-to-2, their chances of advancing don't look promising. They'll have to find a way to beat American League ERA leader and Cy Young candidate David Price, who shut them out on just one hit through six innings in Game 2. It took one of the most improbable rallies in the history of postseason baseball to beat him in that game, so you know he'll be looking to even the score. The Royals will start Yordano Ventura, who is 0-1, 6.57 ERA in three starts this postseason.

And if it comes down to a Game 7, as seems likely, the Royals would face Marcus Stroman, the pitcher who beat them in Game 3. They would have to counter with Johnny Cueto, who got blown up in Game 3 and has a 7.88 ERA this postseason, or with Chris Young on short rest, or with Kris Medlen (who has only pitched once in the last three weeks).

"Don't be so pessimistic. You've got two chances at home to win one game."

Ask the Blue Jays how that worked out for them in 1985...

Something's Missing at the Benghazi Hearings...

From the Pulitzer Prize-winning Mike Ramirez, whose editorial cartoons are always
spot on. You can find more of his work in Investor's Business Daily.

Until Next Time...

204 years ago today, virtuoso pianist, composer, and teacher Franz Liszt was born in Doborján, Hungary.

Choosing which piece of his vast musical output to include in today's celebration of his life was not easy, as I have so many favorites. I eventually settled on one of his most popular short works, Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2. My first exposure to it came long before I knew of Liszt, or even what classical music was. It was in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

Today's send-off is an orchestral arrangement of the work by Peter Pejtsik, featuring award-winning violinist Katica Illényi performing with the Győr Philharmonic Orchestra, conducted by István Silló. Enjoy...

Philharmonic Orchestra of GyőrThe Győr Philharmonic Orchestra,

The Philharmonic Orchestra of Győr

The Philharmonic Orchestra of Győr