All Smiles

Smart-Aleck Hall of Fame

"Morals are morals. Money is money."

As I have noted before in this space, one of the joys of my Saturday mornings is the Law and Order marathons they usually run on the TNT Network.

The quality of the writing and acting on the series makes these reruns a pleasure to watch, even though I have seen every episode many, many times over the years.

Over the course of 20 seasons there were seven different Assistant District Attorney characters on the series. My favorite of these is sharp-tongued Texan Abbie Carmichael, memorably portrayed by Angie Harmon (a Dallas-area native in real life).



Her dialogue was scripted, of course, but her delivery of those tart one-liners in that husky Texas drawl...well, let's just say I've had a crush on her for a long, long time. She more than earned her spot in my Smart-Aleck Hall of Fame.

"She's still single, isn't she? You should give her a call."

You should mind your own business...

Things That Make Me Happy: Comeback Edition

My beloved Kansas City Royals bounced back from their disheartening 5-2 loss to the Houston Astros in Game 1 of the ALDS Thursday night with a gutsy, hard-fought 5-4 win in Game 2 Friday afternoon at sold-out Kauffman Stadium.

The game did not begin well. The Royals sent Johnny Cueto to the mound in what amounted to a must-win situation, but as he has done in almost every start since he joined the team (he's 4-7 with a 4.76 ERA, and the Royals also lost two Cueto starts where he was not the pitcher of record, making the team 4-9 in his 13 starts), Cueto struggled early. The Astros put up 4 runs before he could record 7 outs, but Johnny settled down and limited the damage, retiring 12 of the next 14 batters he faced to get
the game to the bullpen. Scott Kazmir. (who had a 2.10 ERA against the Royals in 21+ innings this year) turned in a steady performance, giving up a solo home run to
C Salvador Perez in the 2nd and a single run on a double-play grounder in the 3rd.
He carried a 4-2 lead into the bottom of the 6th, but gave way to Oliver Perez after
CF Lorenzo Cain doubled with one out. Perez was not effective, giving up an RBI single to 1B Eric Hosmer followed by DH Kendrys Morales's single. After Perez walked 3B Mike Moustakas on four pitches to load the bases, the Astros brought in Josh Fields, who promptly walked Sal Perez to force in Hosmer with the tying run.

"New ballgame, baby!"

I was working on today's "Until Next Time..." section when the bottom of the 7th inning began, and the second video clip included in that section was just ending as Alcides Escobar laced his lead-off triple to the opposite field. If you're not familiar with how YouTube works, very often when one video finishes playing another one begins right afterward if you don't stop it. That happened in this instance, as I was too busy cheering to keep the next video from starting up automatically while Alcides slid in safely to third. That video (also by The Monkees) was still playing when Ben Zobrist's single drove in what turned out to be the game-winning run. What song were the boys performing in that next video? "I'm a Believer."

Swear to God...

"Well, you should be a believer! 95-67 wasn't a fluke, you know."

Nobody says "Pwned" anymore, dumbass.

But your point is well-taken, though, Ben. And thank you for one of the peak moments of my life-long love affair with the Royals. Dallas Keuchel will be tough to beat in Houston on Sunday (he hasn't lost at home this season, in fact), but in his only outing against the Royals this year (July 26 at Kauffman Stadium), he pitched his second-worst game of the season. On the other hand, in Royals Game 3 starter Edinson Volquez's only start against the Astros this season (July 1 in Houston), he pitched his third-worst game of the season.

All we can do is play hard and see what happens, of course. And no matter what happens, the Royals' magical season can't end on Sunday...

If I Were a Superhero...

From the excellent comic strip Non Sequitur, by Wiley Miller, which you should read every day, as I do (even though Wiley is a squishy liberal).

Until Next Time...

On October 10, 1966 the cultural phenomenon known as The Monkees skyrocketed with the release of their first album, The Monkees. The groundbreaking NBC TV series featuring the pop/rock group had debuted a month before the album's release, and was
a legitimate hit (I tuned in every Monday night, like every other kid I knew). It would
go on to win the Emmy for Best Comedy Series that season. The show's famous opening sequence is one of the most memorable in television history...

Is "cultural phenomenon" a stretch? Well, besides the hit TV show, The Monkees reached
No. 1 on the Billboard 200 album chart on October 17, and spent 13 straight weeks as the No. 1 album. What displaced it? More of The Monkees was released on January 9, 1967 and debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200. After bumping The Monkees from the top spot, the second album held that position for 18 consecutive weeks thereafter. The band's third album, Headquarters, was released on May 22 and reached No. 1 on June 24, holding the top spot for another 8 consecutive weeks (it was eventually displaced by The Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band).

I think it is fair to say that a band with a hit TV show topping the album charts for 31 straight weeks (and 39 weeks total) qualifies as a "cultural phenomenon."

As a dweeby 8th grader back then, I didn't know about or care about all the stuff regarding who wrote their songs, who played the instruments on their albums, etc. (they did do their own singing, for the most part). I still don't care. All I know is, these guys were a HUGE part of the soundtrack of my puberty. That means I will love this music forever. Period.

One of the many innovations of the TV show was the inclusion of what amounted to very rudimentary versions of music videos, featuring the band lip-syncing to one of their songs. Almost every episode of the show included at least one of these, and rather than
a fairly static "performance" these videos incorporated multiple camera angles, blended footage of different performances of the same song, etc. All of these techniques would become commonplace during the music video boom that began 20 years later.

The big hit from the debut album was "Last Train to Clarksville," which was the group's first single to hit No. 1 on the charts. Today's send-off is the video of the song which was featured on Episode 2 of the TV series. The jangly guitar riff that begins the song is one of the most instantly-recognizable intros in rock 'n roll history. Enjoy...